Dress Rehearsal

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

Today was an amazing day at the Shine Dress Rehearsal. I got to participate in all 10 showcases that I am preparing for. Some of it went really well, and some things I still need to work on. The most important lesson I learned today was how debilitating fear and nerves can be. I was standing in line to perform my mainstream song, which is "Try Everything" by Shakira. But as I was standing there I was listening to people that were going before me, and they were very pitchy and forgetting their words. This made my own anxiety level go up. I was so afraid that I was going to forget the words that I have sung hundreds of times all ready. This escalated, when they handed me a hand mic. I had not been practicing with a hand mic, because I intend to have a headphone mic for that performance. So this threw me off, because now my performance plans went down the drain as well. I walked onto stage and felt so nervous. I felt like running away. I felt like throwing up. But, I refused to give up, and did it none the less. I'm proud for that small victory, but upset at myself for getting all worked up over it.

One of our coaches Deanne got up after everyone had sung, and pretty much laid it all out there. Telling us, that we need to get rid of the fear, and giving us encouragement. The message was... If you are going to fail, then why not fail BIG!!! It's better to fail BIG in this industry, then be small and inconsequential. They then sent us to lunch to go think about what had been said.

During lunch (photo taken at Subway), I got to thinking about it. I knew I had to Let It Go! I had to let go of my fear and nerves and just do it. After lunch went back and this time performed my Christian song. Wow! What a world of difference a pep talk and some lunch can do. I totally nailed the song and the performance, and absolutely loved it. One thing I need to keep in mind, that it is not about eliciting a response from the audience. It is all about being in the moment of the song/performance in order to make it believable to myself. If I succeed in that, then the audience will automatically follow.

I made some new friends this weekend, and reconnected with others who I've spent this journey with. I really cherish the relationships that we are building, and am looking forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for each of us. All my outfits were approved, my getting better at styling myself. The only thing that my closet still need are some black jean skinny pants. So I guess I'm going shopping for some before the end of the year.